Ashface

Ashface is the current mediator of FallClan. She is generally regarded as being quite odd, and her eccentricity causes most cats to feel uncomfortable and subsequently avoid her. This is mainly due to her synesthesia, and while she recognizes this, she does not make much of an effort to change her behavior. At the moment, she is a loner traveling toward MarshClan territory alongside Emberglow.Name- Ashface

Gender- She-cat

Clan- FallClan (temporarily a loner rn tho)

Rank- Mediator (again, temporary loner)

Family- nonexistent.

Friends- Pikenose (formerly), Emberglow. That's kind of it. F in the chat.

Enemies- No one, actually.

Appearance
Ashface is a lithe, sleek she-cat with short, soft fur. Her pelt is a light sandy-cream color with slightly darker tabby stripes. Her chest, paws, and tail-tip are white, and there is a large splash of dark gray covering the whole left side of her face. Her eyes are a dark green, but they are bright all the same. There are a few more small gray splashes across her fur. She's not particularly small, but she's a bit less than average in size.

Personality
Like most mediators, Ashface is very placid and gentle. She is soft-spoken and easy to talk to, and she enjoys nothing more than understanding and sympathizing with her Clanmates. She is very introspective and empathetic, and forges bonds with other relatively quickly. Ashface is kindhearted and calm, but she is very blunt, and sometimes says things that can easily be interpreted incorrectly. She is amazingly adept at her job due to her synesthesia, however. She is a tad antisocial, though, and although she is fond of company, she also likes to sit and be alone with her thoughts often. She often switches between being social and withdrawn, and will distance herself when she feels like it. She's also a bit strange, acting oddly and doing some weird things, usually linked to her synesthesia or general lack of social skills. She is aware of this, however, and while she is saddened to be excluded from most of her Clanmates, she understands why it happens.

Pre-Clan Life
Ashface was born a kittypet. Her name was Asha. She doesn't remember her parents or any of her siblings. She lived in a house with a pair of dogs, and she remembers them as being very sweet and friendly. Her life as a kittypet was fairly normal and chill. She did normal kittypet things, like drinking from sinks, getting her head stuck in toilet paper rolls, falling out of trees, etc. It was fun.

Correction: It was fun until her house flooded one day. Asha was about twelve moons old by that point. She panicked and escaped outside through an open window, and ended up getting lost. She never knew what happened to the dogs or anything, but she couldn't find her way back to the house, She pretty much just wandered around until she ended up outside of twolegplace, in Clan territory. Then she continued to wander around until some Clan cats found her and asked her to join their barbaric gang in the wilderness. She was like "sure, why not?" And that's the story of how she joined FallClan.

Clan Life
Ashface became FallClan's mediator, likely because her synesthesia and odd mannerisms freaked everyone out and they weren't sure what else to do with her. She was shunned and ridiculed most of the time, but it never really bothered her. She knew it wasn’t done with ill intent. For a while, she just chilled in FallClan being lonely. She needed help. She needed love.

She was particularly teased by the young tom Graypaw. She knew it was not done out of any genuine malice, so she wasn’t openly upset about it at all, although she did state before that it saddened her to be picked on. She pretty much ignored the teasing. She’d gotten used to it by that point, anyways.

Eventually, though, Graypaw’s mentor Sorrelseed got fed up with his crap. She towed him over to Ashface and made him apologize. Ashface was really chill about it, and she forgave him. Once Graydusk became a warrior, Ashface was still on relatively neutral terms with him.

She somehow managed to befriend Emberglow despite the fact that Emberglow’s father, Stormclaw, didn’t like her. The two of them connected over their hardships, and Ashface learned about the abuse Emberglow had endured from her mother, Hazel, among other things. They got along pretty well, as Emberglow understood the feelings of exclusion that Ashface was experiencing, even if she wasn't particularly bothered by them. Emberglow even offered to teach Ashface how to fish, which is a skill she’d never been able to master, but had not yet learned due to no one really caring to spend too much time with her. She'd never really approached anyone to ask them, either. Ashface went along with it, and she was shown how to dive after fish the way Emberglow had learned. She thought it felt nice to have a friend. They were wholesome. Oh, and also! She was able to get a bit closer with Pikenose, a tom she was crushing on, as well, much to her own delight, although a part of her felt like that she would never stand a chance with him. One morning, while she was vibing on a small island she'd pretty much claimed for herself, she noticed Pikenose on the one just next to it. She decided "yknow what, yolo" and awkwardly dogpaddled over to talk to him. She found out to her own surprise that he didn't actually hate her or think she was some kind of weird freak, and he explained that anyone who did think that was being close-minded. Ashface, understanding their mindset, didn't exactly agree, but his kind words warmed her. She probed a little bit into his own backstory, learning that he'd been born in OrchidClan and had left as an apprentice due to the stress of his brothers' competitiveness and ridicule. She found that somewhat relatable and talked a little about how he genuinely was a strong and brave cat, regardless of how he felt about himself. They both sort of bonded over their shared alienation and self-confidence problems. They were sweet.

For a while after that, Ashface just vibed. She was inspired to try and improve herself and become more approachable - not by resisting her urges and who she was - but by accepting it and not letting it make her feel out of place, the way Pikenose was encouraging her. A few days after their conversation on the island, he gave her a lupine flower in thanks for helping him. She kept the flower in her nest, cherishing it as the only gift she'd ever gotten. After admitting to Pikenose that she couldn't exactly hunt or fish, he promised to help her learn along with Emberglow. So that was nice. Things were looking good for Ashface!! Unfortunately, though... good things don't last. Pikenose died of the plague barely a moon later. It had a massive impact on Ashface, as she'd never really lost anyone before. She decided to keep the lupine flower in her nest, not caring about how withered and pitiful-looking it got. She couldn't bear to forget it. It's the only thing she had left to remember Pikenose by, and she refused to let go of it.

She became better friends with Emberglow, though, as they were able to bond over their grief. Emberglow had lost her sort-of-almost boyfriend, Larchflight, to the same wave of plague that killed Pikenose. They talked about grief and stuff, and Ashface was pretty chill. Later that same day, she agreed to leave FallClan for a bit and travel with Emberglow in hopes of finding Emberglow's sister, Moon. They left after about a moon or so of preparation. Permafrost agreed to take over the role of mediator during her absence.

They set off after Emberglow had said her goodbyes to Stormclaw. Ashface was sort of excited by the prospect of the journey, as she'd never been in Clan territory that wasn't FallClan's before. They talked a bit about what they planned to do, and decided to head first to the old heather patch that Emberglow had been raised in. They crossed into MarshClan territory and started toward the outer border. Ashface was fascinated by all of the open space, as well as the texture of the grass and the feeling of the wind. She found that she really quite enjoyed MarshClan's land. Emberglow talked about how weird it was that while she hated and feared her mother, she still on some level felt bad for her. Ashface sympathized and assured her that it wasn't a bad thing. She also tried to analyze Moon's mindset a bit in hopes of calming Emberglow down a little. It only kind of worked. They also made fun of OrchidClan territory and picked apart the word "flashy" just for the heck of it. They discussed Ashface's colors and how interesting it would be for both of them to just switch views for a moment. They were generally just wholesome.

They reached the outer border and headed to where the heather patch was. Along the way, Emberglow caught a rabbit, but then they realized that neither of them really wanted to eat it - Emberglow because she associated rabbits with dark memories of Hazel, and Ashface because the texture of the fur was hard on her senses, and she couldn't help but see colors and energy coming off live prey that wasn't fish. Pikenose had tried to help her a bit with that, but they hadn't gotten far before he died. Ashface was willing to keep trying, though. They decided that they would keep moving, and if they couldn't find a source of water, they would both overcome their difficulties and eat the rabbit together. Then they approached the heather patch. There were no signs of any cats having lived there recently, to Ashface's mild disappointment and to Emberglow's relief. Emberglow found three little rocks beneath a heap of moss - a few playthings that she'd entertained herself with when they were kits. Ashface commented on their beauty and expressed her belief that the rocks wouldn't have disappeared, as nothing was ever "gone", reasoning that her twoleg den and the dogs inside it were still around, even if she'd never see them again - and even Pikenose was up in StarClan somewhere.

They moved on from the heather patch, this time in search of water, bringing the rabbit with them. Emberglow was pretty stressed out at this rate, and Ashface did her best to be reassuring, but it still pretty much turned into a full panic attack. Ashface didn't make a big deal out of it and instead just chilled and kept walking, hoping to give Emberglow a chance to sort out her own mental disaster before she risked getting involved.

So... currently, Ashface is just traveling around with Emberglow. Yeet~

Trivia

 * Not to be confused with Ashkit, a kit in MarshClan.
 * Ashface has a condition called synesthesia, which is this weird thing where her senses are connected, and she tastes certain words, feels the textures of smells, and sees colors emanating from certain cats depending on character or mood, which helps with her mediator abilities. It’s a real thing that some people have, and it’s super neat. You can look it up.
 * Speaking of that!! She was the first cat in the roleplay to have synesthesia. The other is Gorseblaze, whom she has not formally met yet, but hopefully will sometime soon.
 * She was somewhat inspired by Whiteout from WoF.
 * If she moves or speaks too quickly, she is sometimes overwhelmed by scents, colors, or tastes. The same thing happens sometimes when she blinks. Because of this, she usually moves almost lethargically, and speaks slowly with odd pauses between her words. She does not blink often. This only serves to make cats more uncomfortable around her.
 * Ashface has something of a tic where whenever she says the word "different", her mouth is sometimes cleansed of sour tastes. Whenever she strings together words that don't feel right together, she will normally say "different" afterwards in order to cancel them out. It is one of her favorite words, the others being "hoot" and "ogle". She does not often use the latter two words, however, as their colors are not as compatible with sourness. She sometimes does say “ogle” as something of a swear, however, in place of “fox-dung” or “mouse-dung”. It isn’t often, though, because she is rarely annoyed by anything and therefore never swears. Plus, “ogle” hurts her mouth.
 * Not that it matters, but she would totally destroy everyone at Mario Kart if presented with the opportunity.
 * Her prefix is Ash because the FallClan cats were like “hey what’s ur name” and she was like “asha” and they were like “oh ash??” and she was just like “...yeah sure”. Her suffix is ‘face’ because of the dark gray splash on her face. Ash. Face. Ashface.
 * She sucks at swimming. She can do it, but she really hates it. There isn't enough texture for her senses to grasp when she's in the water. She doesn’t know how to fish, either. But she wants to stay in FallClan because she doesn't like change. She struggles with hunting on land, too. She can sense the colors coming off of her prey when it gets frightened, and then she feels bad and has trouble killing it. So... she doesn't fish or hunt at all. She just kind of lays around and does nothing all day, every day. Poor Ashface.
 * She likes the taste of blood. Don't judge her on that, though. She's a sweetheart, I swear. She also enjoys dissecting dead fish. Like,, splitting the bones open and separating the organs. Why? She just thinks it's nice. Don't judge her. At least she has a hobby, unlike mOsT cAtS.
 * I (Starling) was originally gonna name her Cindersplash. I didn't, though, because Cinderstream already existed at the time. Then I thought Ashsplash sounded too stupid, so I went with Ashface. I actually really like the name Ashface and I’m glad I went with it.
 * Ashface and Fallowfleck are the only cats in the roleplay known to be infertile. I mean, Ashface was spayed as a kittypet, though, so I'm not entirely sure if that counts. But still.
 * Does she count as a partial chimera? Maybe? If so, then her Clanmate Halfheart is also a partial chimera. Mallowkit is a full chimera, too. The first chimera in the roleplay - a full one - was Rushdawn.

Quotes
"Hello. Purple today?"

.

"I am sorry. I can't blame you for not wanting... to be around me. Trashface, as I’m sometimes referred to as. I know I’m the only one who sees and feels the colors. I don’t get... it, either. But I’m a mediator, so I want to be helpful."

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"Your... female parent... I take it she was not ideal?"

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Emberglow: "I'm sorry cats have been so rude to you."

Ashface: "They don’t mean to be. It is natural, I think. When you see... something you do not understand, it makes you afraid.”

.

Ashface: "If you understood her motives, would that help you? Is there... anything to gain from it?"

Emberglow: "Not that I know of..."

Ashface: "Then it isn't worth dwelling on. She was most likely being selfish. Taking out bitterness on you. It’s sometimes used as a coping mechanism. But that doesn’t make it okay.”

Emberglow: "She seemed to think it was."

Ashface: "Of course. They rarely recognize that there’s anything wrong with what they are doing. When they do, they usually try to fight down the guilt by being even worse. But this isn't about your mother, it's... about you."

Emberglow: "What about me?"

Ashface: "With all that yellow, you’re clearly still thinking about her a lot. I want to... help with that. I know it’s hard, but I’ve done this before. It’s horrible to carry the... weight of experiences like those around with you for such a long time. I would like to help you.”

.

"Mm. I don’t talk to many cats anymore. I used to try, but it doesn’t... usually amount to anything. I make everyone uncomfortable. I can see why. I wish I didn’t, but it... is what it is. I'm just a bit too different from most others, it seems. You seem to have a... somewhat similar problem. At least... the colors indicate as much.”

.

"I suppose so. I’m rather good at... analyzing the minds of other cats, but when it comes to my own head, I haven’t the faintest clue what’s going on. StarClan must have given me the colors and tastes for a reason, though, so I’m trying to use... them to their fullest extent as a mediator. But I think you're a very interesting cat, too, Emberglow."

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"Unfortunately, you are quite right. I must say, it makes me feel a... bit out of place, knowing how much everyone has lost. I haven’t suffered nearly as much as most wildborn... cats. I suppose I am lucky.”

.

"Taste. Bad. It happens. That’s why... I move and talk so... slowly. If I don’t, then sometimes..."

.

"You can lead the way, then. I... I don’t leave the camp very often, except for this one little island that’s close by. I go there sometimes. It’s nice, and no one is actively trying to... avoid me. Because I’m already alone."

.

''"Stone. Stone is savory sometimes. Thank you." - (to Emberglow when she takes her to an island with stone instead of sand)''

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"Cod? I think... I’ve had cod before. Both as fresh-kill and as a kittypet. Some of the food they gave me had fish in it. It's good."

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Ashface: "Oh. That's a shiny (fish). Good job."

Emberglow: "I guess it is kind of shiny."

Ashface: "I like the shiny ones. They’re pretty. My colors don’t mess with them as much."

Emberglow: "You're welcome to have it."

Ashface: "Thank you."

.

"Before the flood, the only water I’d ever made contact with was the stuff in my water bowl. It was only a little bit, and it didn’t move at all. Oh, I tried to... drink some from the sink faucet once, but my housefolk didn’t like that. I’m sure I’ll get the hang of it eventually, though."

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''"It didn't feel like I did it right. It was... fast. I’m not sure how it’s possible to keep track of a fish through that." - (when she epically fails at diving for a fish)''

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"I think you're doing fine. I mean... I suppose I don’t have much to... compare this against, but — you know. Maybe this will be good practice for if you ever get... an apprentice.”

.

Pikenose: "Your senses sound advanced. That must be beneficial to your rank as a mediator. You sound like you've been gifted. Why wouldn't others like to interact with you?"

Ashface: "I don't fit in. I... act strange because of the... tastes, and it makes cats uncomfortable. They don’t understand it, and they don’t try to. I don’t understand it... either, really. And I don’t try to change anything. It’s just as much my... fault as it is theirs."

Pikenose: "It's not your fault. We're all different. And it's their problem if they think you're strange, not yours. You shouldn't be bothered if someone thinks you're strange."

Ashface: "It doesn't really bother me. I am used to it. But it does make me a little bit sad. Wait, you... don’t think that I’m strange?”

Pikenose: "Everyone's different in their own way. Why would I discriminate you for being yourself?"

Ashface: "That's... a very nice way to say it. Thank you."

.

"Pikenose, if those are the only ‘bad’ things you can recall having... done, I think you’re fine. Besides, I am used to feeling bad. Don’t worry about... it.”

.

Pikenose: "I still feel bad."

Ashface: "Of course you do. That is because you are a... good cat. You have a good heart, Pikenose. You care about others more than yourself.”

Pikenose: "Th-thank you..."

Ashface: "You made me feel better about myself, so I... thought I may as well return the favor.”

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"Change is difficult. It will take time. But if you keep at it, it.. always pays off in the end.”

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Ashface: "The pink is starting to... come back. You are doing well. This is a good pink. It seems to be your main color, I think. Most cats have... one. I happen to like yours. It’s pretty.”

Pikenose: "Thank you...?"

Ashface: "Sure. There were... stripes earlier, too. And the colors were spreading a bit. That’s unusual. You’re... intriguing, Pikenose. In a good way. You should feel... good about it.”

.

Ashface: "You said you... like evergreens. For any reason in particular? I like maples because my... housefolk used to have one in their front yard. I would climb it sometimes when they let me outside.”

Pikenose: "They have a nice smell... evergreens... you can curl up under one and watch the world from under their leaves and branches... they won't judge you."

Ashface: "Yes. You are right. It sounds nice."

.

"It's alright. I am merely enjoying the texture."

.

"That’s what counts. Doing something even... when you’re scared. That’s bravery. You are brave, Pikenose. I doubt it was easy to... tell me about that, either. You seemed hesitant. But you did it anyways. You're a lot better than you give yourself credit for."

.

"There it is. The pink. It's... back now. I'm glad."

.

Graypaw: "I'm... I'm sorry for being, like, uh... stupid."

Ashface: "Oh, that's... perfectly alright. Different. We all are."

.

Ashface: "This feeling isn't good. Just... thinking about feeling better can make you feel guilty. But... but regardless, it ends up being alright."

Emberglow: "No. It really doesn't."

Ashface: "Maybe not inside. But the... world keeps moving. Life goes on. It doesn’t wait for you... to grieve. The world can be mean, but... in a way, that is almost comforting.”

Emberglow: "How so?"

Ashface: "Well, if... the Clan continues to move forward and function, it helps us to understand that not all is wrong. And we can begin to... recover, too. Now, it is still too fresh, of course. But... with time... we will heal. Everyone does. Myself, I take comfort in that knowledge.”

.

Ashface: "Now you are only... back to where you were before you became friends with (Larchflight). Different. Except it’s... better, isn’t it? Because now you have memories to... cherish. Good memories. He wouldn’t want you to be sad, I don’t think.”

Emberglow: "H-he wouldn't..."

Ashface: "Neither do I. Neither do all of your Clanmates, everyone here. None of us want... to be sad right now. It’s natural, and it’s okay, but... keep in mind that the sadness only means you were happy to have him. So... I think it's best to be glad for that, even though it's painful."

.

Emberglow: "(...) You're FallClan's mediator! They need you here!"

Ashface: "Need me? I... don't think most of our Clanmates remember I exist, Emberglow. I don't have much to do most of the time. I doubt they will miss... me anyways. Someone else can temporarily fill the role."

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"My... colors are rather simple. They appear, they move, they change. That is all. Different. Some are pretty and some are bad. But it shifts, and is never... entirely good or not.”

.

"I like rocks."

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"Nothing is ever... gone, I don’t think. Not truly. If it existed once, it is still somewhere. Maybe in... pieces... maybe in a different form, but... something can't simply become 'gone'."

.

Emberglow: "I know what Stormclaw said, but maybe StarClan's wrong. What if they are wrong? What if Void doesn't actually know what he said he does?"

Ashface: "Or what if you are overthinking things? Just a little bit, perhaps?"

Emberglow: "Yeah. I probably am. I'll try to be quieter."

Ashface: "No, no. I understand that you’re nervous. It is better to let it out than to bottle it up. Just know that the worst... possible scenario is not always the most likely one."

.

"We do not have to do this. It is your call and it always has been. But I think it would be good for you. The truth is that we don’t know whether or not we will encounter your mother. But if we are serious about finding your sister, that is a risk we will have to be willing to take.”

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"Worrying won't solve a thing."

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